Slow-motion NYC

New York 2008 from Vicente Sahuc on Vimeo.

I'm just goin' down to the Oyster Shack, man. Come on!

Meet Steve. He knows his rights.

Part II: Notice the lawn mower pulled up to the house.

This is an ACTUAL news story.

I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry. This is beautiful.

Always Sunny.

Clearly, Kim Il-sung is happy to have had his portrait drawn. The late leader's photograph brightens the day for the North Koreans working below.



A glimpse into a North Korean border town, taken from China.

Volcano Sledding

Sledding down a volcano at 50 MPH.

Your Grandpa Was Dumb.

Half the population of 1917 would be considered mentally retarded by today’s measurements. The average IQ of a person in 1917 would score only 73 on the current intelligence quotient test, with 100 being the average.

I Want To Be Patrick Bateman.

7 minutes every morning, Patrick Bateman style.

War on People

For the vast majority of drug users, especially marijuana users, it is a victimless crime. In the "War on Drugs," the victims are the drug users, their families, their communities, and their workplaces. They are sent to jail or treatment, to the detriment of their careers and families. Most of the time, the treatment is cookie-cutter at best, designed to treat the general topic of "addiction" with lectures about inanely general topics like "change." Instead of being productive members of society, the law consigns these "marijuana addicts" to waste away in jail or treatment.

The law is the problem, not marijuana. Anti-drug advocates try to create an inseparable idea of harm, the coalescence of all the problems drugs cause. However, a closer examination reveals that the cause of all the harms elicited to justify harsh punishments for drug laws arise from the enforcement of law itself, rather than the effects of the drug usage.

Why can we not focus our efforts on eliminating real crime by addressing the greater root causes? Instead, we let our cities fall into oblivion, all the while still blindly enforcing possession laws with greater vigilance than violent crimes. The "War on Drugs" is a war on people.

Man-Date CHAMPIONS on the Fox 2 Morning Show!

Here's a clip. Jason and I ended up dominating. He won the air guitar competition, and I won the corndog eating contest.

Jason and I won bro-date VIP passes to the advance screening of "I Love You, Man" tonight.

Today's Titillating Tidbit.

One in three children eat fast food EVERY DAY.

Titillating tidbit = kid with man tits.

14-year-old Author of 'Define Conservatism'

This kid is great. Rush Limbaugh in training.

Mmm....fart on me, baby!

Apparently, scientists, probably in some sort of gross experimental orgy, discovered that a molecule contained in farts makes rats horny. Some day, they hope to use this as an alternative to Viagra.

Getting up, au naturel, I guess... But, really, who could prefer a pill? Brilliant work, guys.

A Great New Pic.

The last enemy combatant being held on American soil is Ali Saleh Kahlah al-Marri, an alleged sleeper cell agent for al Qaeda. He was arrested in Peoria, Illinois in 2001, and has never stood trial or been convicted of a crime.

However, in an act of good will, ostensibly inspired by our new President, they have allowed al-Marri to pose for a photo for his Facebook profile. This is the first photo of him allowed to be released since his arrest.

Please friend him. He must be lonely after being held in complete isolation for five years.

So, Maybe I Cried A Little...

Sharing deliciousness.

Josh Delman's blog. Although, the proprietary format is frustrating. I haven't yet figured out how to interact with it.

Totally Rubbish.

Only 6% of Madagascar's trash and industrial waste is collected and disposed.

The Green Room

Ron Jeremy walked into Graham Chapel from a side door, into a small room adjacent to the filled, murmuring auditorium. He was unshaven and sported a blue Hawaiian shirt that said "Molokai."

"Where's the green room?" he immediately demanded. Green room is showbiz jargon for the place with food and drink to placate performers as they wait to go on. After being informed that he would be required to walk out in front of the audience to get back to the eats, he plainly protested:

"It's about surprising them. I walk on stage and everyone applauds. Hey! It's Ron! What are they gonna do? Meh...we already saw him five minutes ago. It ruins the excitement."

Someone pointed out he could access the green room from outside, abating his growing frustration. During this exchange, I was standing...waiting, impeccably dressed in my pink shirt/tie and pressed black suit. Mostly, I was excited to be proxy to this exchange. Certainly, this was a problem that would arise exclusively amongst celebrities and fame. Not just everyone required a green room.

Not that the green room was remarkable. A small room with two chairs. The offerings? Eight bottles of Fiji water (It DOES taste better, doesn't it?) delicately arranged in two rows of four. And, a Schnucks-bought plastic tray with an array of placidly unoriginal raw veggies and some fashion of dip. Surprisingly, the unimpressive assortment wasn't underwhelming. I found myself reveling in the privileged status of those, myself, who would require this room. It exudes exclusivity, only to be occupied by the most prominent few and their encompassing entourages. The glimpse of show business was enticing, leaving me with a lingering high of self-importance. I've made the decision. I will, one day, once again require a green room.

Senior Sendoff

This was an essay commissioned for my Creative Writing course in my last semester of high school. I was nostalgically searching through my circa-2004 documents, and came upon this. The assignment was a senior reflection. Reading it has elicited mixed feelings:

a) The inept writing is hard to palate.
b) I was a MASSIVE goober. (still am?)
c) In consolation, the premise is semi-reasonable.
d) My high school totally did look like a run-down airport.

Enjoy:

Subconsciously, I’d always dreamed of high school being like that show on MTV, Laguna Beach. Everyone in high school is gorgeous and rich, and it’s perpetually sunny and warm, even the “nerds” drive Mercedes-Benz convertibles to school. Besides some exciting everyday high school drama, high school is essentially one big happy party after another. Unfortunately, entering the likes of Lincoln High School my freshman year shattered those dreams. Stepping into the halls of Lincoln is a little like stepping into the concourse of a run-down airport, complete with terminals A-E, although I’ve never figured out the D-wing. Lincoln High School certainly isn’t glamorous, nor, frankly, are the people in it. It’s depressing at times, talking to people who go to schools with swimming pools, and Macintosh computer labs, and…tanner girls, but despite the misgivings and cold temperatures surrounding Lincoln High School, it is my high school, and my memories from it will last a lifetime. So, at the very least, I should embrace my memories, and reflect on the good times I did have.

To me, the most amazing aspect of high school is the tremendous changes I have made from the beginning of freshman year to now. The most prominent and obvious of changes was in height. I went from the 5’0” freshman, codename “Smalls,” to the taller-than-my-grandma senior I am now. Also, I’m pretty sure I’ve become classier. I was quite the nerd as a freshman. A nerd without a Mercedes-Benz at that! But, although I’m still nerdy, I’ve grown a little less socially inept. I’m able to dress nicer, talk lower thanks to puberty, and have a few conversations each day that don’t deal with video games. Perhaps none of this has that much to do with high school, but at the same time, I’ve never honestly concentrated that much on high school itself. I’ve enjoyed debating, and playing my trombone, and tennis, but to be honest, the classes themselves haven’t consumed a large majority of my time. But, that’s okay. Participating in myriad activities, for me, is more rewarding and educational than just focusing on classes. I love to learn, and my interests are scattered all over the place. It’ss why I’ve never been able to focus on one thing. That’s what made high school such a memorable experience for me, though. The broad amount of activities and trips and groups has allowed me to experience incredible things over the last four years, and through that I’ve learned about myself and what my interests are. That’s been my philosophy throughout high school: Try everything, and pursue what you like. I’d recommend that to everyone, because the knowledge I’ve gained about myself will help me choose, later on in life, a career or hobby that I’ll love. Past high school and college, there’s no more participating in every club and hobby available. My job will take most of my time, but what I’ve learned in high school will help me find something that I love and allow me to do it for the rest of my life. I’m grateful for all the opportunities high school has afforded me, and look forward to pursuing some of them for many more years.

High school is a learning experience, and using it as one has made my four years truly memorable and rewarding ones. I have no regrets, just excitement for the next stage of my life and what it will bring. Seize the day, it’s what made high school the incredible experience it was, and it’s what will make college the learning experience I look forward to. Goodbye, Lincoln.

Clever Nerdy Guy on Daily Show. Brandon Heller?

This dude is nerdy and witty. A potent combination. He also resembles the man who rushed me into TKE, Brandon Heller. Brandon built his own Segway, from scratch. Pretty ridiculous. Enjoy:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

P.W. Singer

Daily Show Full Episodes
Funny Political Videos

Important Things With Demetri Martin
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Legalization.

This video makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Behold! Scarlet Bagel!

Ridiculous high school video project for AP Lit & Comp. A parody of Scarlet Letter. Note the high production value and cohesive script.

If you can't bear to watch the whole video...at least start at minute six with the amazing montage love scene. I cry everytime.

Who Loves Guantanamo?

In an article in Financial Times today, it was reported that:

"Republicans yesterday pointed to reports that a former Guantanamo Bay prisoner had become a top al-Qaeda operative in Yemen to cast fresh doubt about President Barack Obama's plan to close the prison."

Even the US penal system, a global laughing stock, releases prisoners when they finish with their sentence. In fact, prisoners are typically released early and placed on parole. The average felon completes only 15% of his or her sentence in prison before being placed on supervised release. High recidivism rates in the US point to the failure of prison as a formative rehabilitative experience. However, don't we still release these prisoners in accordance with their sentences?

Why, then, is concern of recidivism among Guantanamo prisoners a legitimate argument towards keeping the prison open? I use the word recidivism liberally, as many or most of the prisoners are guilty only of arousing suspicion or having too close proximity to foreign terrorist institutions. Most haven't been sentenced, nor have they been given any sort of tribunal or trial to define what it is they actually did, a precursor to culpability even being discussed, let alone systematically determined.

Arguing that Guantanamo remain open for fear of detainees reverting against America (Surprisingly, after being imprisoned indefinitely against their will without access to US due process and without communication with their families for years, many will be taking the Pledge of Allegiance out of their daily routines.) retains traction only because of the politically-charged buzz word, terrorism, and the undue fear it arouses.

These same republicans would never argue that we indefinitely extend, in violation of the US constitution, the prison terms of American prisoners for fear of potential repeat offenses. Their equivalent argument for Guantanamo detainees should be promptly disregarded.

Peace, Bush.

President Bush leaves the White House in a helicopter. Wait, FORMER President Bush leaves the White House in a helicopter. Mmm...former.

But Carlos Slim Helu Loves the New York Times...

Abating, at least temporarily, talk of the New York Times' coming demise, a Mexican telecommunications mogul, the second richest man in the world, loaned the company 250 million dollars.

Hating on the New York Times: Part II

I came upon this in a book I'm reading entitled, In The Jaws of the Dragon: America's Fate in the Coming Era of Chinese Hegemony. American journalism takes, in general, a decidedly forgiving pro-China stance in its reporting, such as support of China's bid to join the World Trade Organization, despite the countries' heavily protectionist trade policies.

The New York Times, on April 24, 1994, published an article that painted this picture of China's growing freedoms:

"At one reception I asked a provincial official how he had become so well informed about what is happening in Europe and the United States. 'I watch CNN, the same as you.' he explained. Some 100 million Chinese, many there say, now have access to TV programs transmitted by satellite. 'Ten years ago,' the official added, 'I could have been arrested for owning a satellite dish.'"

The author noted: "The vast middle class now forming in China almost assures the triumph of democracy and its freedoms....Capitalism is nothing more than democracy of the marketplace - the right of people to make their own decisions about economic matters. Once a free market system is established it is but a short step to political democracy."

The New York Times, though, failed completely in fact-checking the article. Satellite dishes had not been legalized, and are still not legalized. Aside from a few privileged government departments and tourist hotels, use of a satellite dish runs up an astronomical $6000 fine. Astronomical, because this fine is three times the per capita GDP of China in 2006.

They never retracted the story or issued a correction. Further, perhaps because the article is so blatantly propagandistic in retrospect, the article can no longer be found in the newspaper's archives or Lexis Nexis. The author's only means of obtaining the article was a hard-copy of the paper at a library.

Dumb It Down

Many of us are familiar with our television favorites being dumbed down in order to appeal to a wider base of viewers. But, now, the New York Times, too?? The recent spate of NYT television commercials are bearable, but this is much less forgivable.

Banana?

You can bet, as I did, with 1000 to 1 odds, that Obama will utter the word 'banana' or 'Angela Merkel' in his inaugural address tomorrow. If you bet one dollar on each, you could win two thousand dollars if he slips in a phrase like: "I found the banana of Angela Merkel, and returned it to her promptly, which is only the start in a new era of bilateral diplomacy and strengthened American soft power through confidence-building gestures."

Or, "The burgeoning German-American banana trade, facilitated by Chancellor Angela Merkel and the creation of new American trade envoys, signals the beginnings of anti-protectionism in American trade policy, which I advocate in recognition of the integral part unencumbered global market participation plays in today's economy."

Say it, Obama. Say banana. Do it for America.

Corporate Cycling

Buried amongst provisions to bailout financial institutions, purchase toxic mortgage-backed securities, and commence emergency bridge loans, the $700 billion bailout includes The Bicycle Commuter Act, which gives companies $20 per month per employee that regularly commutes to work via pedal power.

Some potential uses for the money include covered bicycle parking, showers for employees, and reimbursements for helmets and locks.

Pro-sodomy?

ThinkProgress posted this gem, an exchange between two favorites: Ann Coulter and Mike Huckabee.

The Final 200

George Bush has less than 200 hours as President of the United States. Finally getting slightly more candid about his legacy, he said the Mission Accomplished banner "sent the wrong message" and that "obviously some of my rhetoric has been a mistake."

In a pleasing admission regarding his fictional case for war, he quipped, “Not having weapons of mass destruction was a significant disappointment.”

And so was your presidency.