I think that it is important to notice people. New-age Evangelical proselytizing strategists suggest using this tactic as a means of forging new relationships. The old school bible-thumping involved bait-and-switch sales techniques. For example, in Florida on spring break, they tasked bikini-clad women (drunk with the love of Jesus H. Christ) to hand out fliers for a Luau Party! with "live music and drinks." When the hormonally-induced attendees arrive, they discover Diet Coke, skits about God, and literature on Christianity in place of Captain Morgan and wet t-shirt contests. This kind of bait-and-switch approach failed, though, to produce results, meaning converts. We capitalist humans are good at smelling a sale coming from a mile away.
The new strategy, as I mentioned, involves "all bait and no switch" in the words of Ira Glass. Disciples are trained to avoid the misdirection and overt persuasions and instead sit in malls and coffee shops and simply notice people. Not surprisingly, when someone asks "How are you?" and then actually lets a person finish a few sentences without interjecting about themselves, they are taken aback by the genuine show of interest. So, that is step one. Step two is build friendships, gain proximity to new groups of people, and exert Godly influence through assimilation, leading by example.
Back to my original thought: I think it is important to notice people. Case in point, I spent this whole weekend with people whom I had met in completely random settings. I hung out with an Indian multi-millionaire property mogul named Mukesh after chatting with him in an Indian restaurant a few weeks ago. I joined his brother and some of his close friends for dinner, got driven around in a chauffeured Mercedes, chatted with the CEO of Air India, sat in on meetings with Uzbek diamond traders, sang Hindi karaoke, and got served breakfast by servants in a penthouse...all because I was willing to chat with a stranger in an Indian restaurant.
I am not sure if I engaged other people this openly while I was Back In The USSA. I am partially motivated by the fact that, halfway around the world, I don't have a circle of friends and family to fall back on. So, perhaps I am more open and more likely to show an interest in others. It has lead me to meet some great people. The people with whom I have spent the most time with in Hong Kong are two locals, Nicole and Lillian. One I met on an elevator, the other in a train station. They've invited me into their homes, shown me the non-touristy side of Hong Kong, and introduced me to their friends. I sat down and had dinner with Nicole's family on her birthday, and it was the first time they'd ever had a white person in their home.
My most poignant experiences in Hong Kong have come from the friendships I have forged through happenstance encounters with complete strangers. Upon returning to the USA, I'm going to behave like a tactically-minded Evangelical and spend more time noticing people.
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There's a significant difference between you and a tactically-minded Evangelical, though, Fancher. For the evangelical, the friendship is a false olive branch, something that they extend purely as a strategic means to their end. The reason they are successful is that they never reveal this end, and instead maintain the guise of pure friendship, only hinting at their real agenda in the margins of the various conversations they have. You really nail is when you describe it as "tactical" in the sense that tactics are the primary motivator, not some genuine willingness to connect with another human being.
ReplyDeleteYour agenda appears to be much more driven by a desire to make connections, to express friendship in a truly open way. This is either entirely less cynical (or entirely more cynical if these friendships ultimately hold no hope for friendship in your eyes). I would tend to believe that these new relationships you've established are entirely less cynical though, which is very rare. The willingness to step outside of one's comfort zone, to engage in conversations with people you actively don't know, and be willing to let the conversation flow in any which way, is one of the rarest human traits. My grandpa John used to do this all the time, and while initially it seemed like it would end up embarrassing or strange, it was always interesting talking to new people in the waiting area of a restaurant, or while in line at the mechanic or the grocery store. Essentially I think you ARE on to something, but the analogy to evangelical tactics is deeply flawed.
Hope your replacement friends in Hong Kong have as massive penises as your real friends here in America. If South Park has taught me anything, it is that they certainly DO NOT have mastadon penises like Americans. Maybe you should start to take notice of something resting between the legs.
ReplyDeleteTJ...I like your reply and I think you're exactly right. I was making an analogy to evangelical tactics, but I was also trying to acknowledge the contrast between the shallow, means-to-an-end Evangelizing, and the kind of openness I'd like to have.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right that the analogy can only be drawn on a shallow level.
And, wow, anonymous. Truly enlightening commentary. As Trey Parker pointed out, we do have mastadonic penises. So big!
ReplyDeleteAnother solid entry Fanch
ReplyDelete